02/03/06
upset...

i seriously need to go out to destress next week!! haha.. kk.. i think i'll be free on fri after 4... got so so much to tell u la... u better make urself free that day oso.. :p

anyway, i set up a new blog le.. haha.. new blog means new beginning rite?? hopefully that will end my string of bad luck le.. anyway, had fun shopping wif darling, paulene, sharon and ying eng!! haha.. bought eye shadow leh.. shall go try on tomorrow for dnd!!

actually... i oso dunno y but i seem to change a lot after coming to hall.. when i was applying for hall stay next sem juz now, was really considering a lot of things... haiz.. i've decided to drop another committment le.. juz dunno how to tell him only... i'll juz find a rite time ba...

i want to go thailand!! this time i will really go shop like crazy la... darling say want to go with me, but i dun think we'll be able to go in the end... afterall, i have secc, ethelonter 3 and pah... and after all my committments are completed, she will be busy with her swoc lor... how to go?? i miss chiang mai.. i miss mae tan noi... sometimes i wish the times at mae tan noi will never end... everything seems soo simple... haiz... but all good things have to end... and i'm glad i met u there.. :)

stress.... haiz... this may be my last entry le ba.. once i get everything in my new blog to settle, i will change over to that blog.. haha.. i want a nice blogskin.. thats why still have to wait a while more... :p

tRyInG nOt 2 tHiNk AnYmOrE.. at 02/03/06 5:15 PM | Comments (1)

02/03/06
bored!!

argh!!! life is sooo sooo mudane.. haiz... okok.. i noe i shud be in lecture now, and i didnt go, coz i tot i want to sleep, but cant get back to sleep again... hmmm.. seriously... i dunno wad is fun and interesting anymore... for a lot of things i am doing now, feel that it is juz a routine... but... being sentimental, i will think back of all the fun times i had... argh!! hate this part of me...

juz applied for hall stay again, but dunno if i shud move out of sheares, or continue... haiz... tough choice... coz if i stay in sheares, i will be another miaing person.. but yet.. i'm not sure wad i want too... half a sem ago, i was so sure that i am going to try out rotaract, but now... i really dunno... pros and cons of being in csc ba... i like there, but yet, i want to try new things, but.. i am not that adventurous too.. argh!!! conflicts..

and i've been thinking abt it the whole of last nite... haiz... still haven reach a conclusion yet.. but i seriously think i have to drop one of my committments... i dun want to fail this sem.. not that i will study if i dun go for csl on wed, but at least i feel i have some time for myself, some breathing space too... but yet... i will miss my kid... though she is very active, but she's clever, and she will help me when others "bully" me... haiz.. wad shud i do??

den this morning, xiao zhi zhi call me ask me to go work wif her.. working hours is 9pm to 3am.. and pay is 12 per hour.. is a lot la.. but if i agree, i will face more problems.. i dun want to lie to my parents, coz i noe my dad will be very upset if he finds out i'm working in places tt he disapproves of.. and i will have less time studying, and for myself... which i think i really need a lot!! i haven go out wif bossie for sooo long le la.. wadeva happened to our kbox outing?? haiz...

sometimes i wish i nv had to make decisions like this.. but.. now how?? shud i or shudnt i?? someone help me please!!! shud i quit or carry on????? i really dunno...

*guan xu.. thanx ar.. but like i told jeannie, i really think tt person is speaking the truth, so no point shutting her up la..

tRyInG nOt 2 tHiNk AnYmOrE.. at 02/03/06 4:24 AM | Comments (1)

01/03/06
tired..

haha.. weird feeling today.. juz suddenly got back the empty feeling... but thanx to my befriendee and dear xiao zhi zhi that manage to cheer me up a bit.. haha.. thanx a lot...

feeling very tired now, but cannot sleep, coz hair haven dry yet... hmmm.. i miss my hair dryer... haiz... lets see... nothing interesting happened today.. juz tt i fell asleep during ts practical claz, and sth weird happen... think one of my nerves broke ba... haha.. that may explain y my sudden cranky mood swing came back..

den after ts prac, i was very very determined to go to clubroom and sleep!! but den juz when i announce that i am going to sleep, dennis said "huh.. i still wanted to discuss wif u abt internal hunt.." den i told him i wun sleep le.. haha.. must make me feel tt i am doing sth, and not slacking in oc... :p

den after a while, we started gossiping le.. haha.. and not long later, mervyn s p ear s came in.. and start hitting me wif the cushion and snatch away my cushion, so end up i didnt sleep at all.. sigh...

hmmmm... actually... i had a lot of fun today leh... coz see yc kena suan by his student... haha.. but i oso dunno y at the end of the day, it felt worse... maybe is coz of another reason ba... haiz... i am getting more and more confused now!! wadeva.. i shall go sleep le... nitez...

*darling.. i dun want to tell her tt i not staring at her la... maybe she juz want to take tt chance to tell me i uglier den her... fact accepted...

tRyInG nOt 2 tHiNk AnYmOrE.. at 01/03/06 4:01 PM | Comments (0)

28/02/06
favourite quote!!

Dance as though no one is watching you
Sing as though no one can hear you
Love as though you've never been hurt
and Live as though heaven were on Earth

-Rumi-

tried to search for the orignial text, but cannot find leh... i'm sure this is juz part of it.. i think this is sooo nice.. haha... actually heard it from the korean show la... but really very meaningful.. anyway, changed my blog song... coz i think this song oso very nice.. haha.. hope u al enjoy it!!!

tRyInG nOt 2 tHiNk AnYmOrE.. at 28/02/06 11:47 AM | Comments (0)

26/02/06
bored...

haha... was soo bored the whole day tt i keep taking weird pics of myself la.. think my phone will spoil soon, coz inside got too much pics of me acting cute, and got quite a few i act cute with my littlest bro... haha...

dunno y today sooo sian leh... juz dun feel like doing anything... haiz... yesterday the last episode of samsoon very touching.. i cried a lot la... coz i think she very poor thing, but very brave at the same time.. and that guy is soooo cute... haha... i luv zhen xian...

sometimes i wish i can dun love to stop getting myself hurt ba... but too bad it is very very hard for me... haha... i shall try again!! like how i shall try to not eat for 1 month again!!
anyway, i lost weight!! haha.. coz i tried on the gown that i wore for prom juz now.. and it looks nicer on me now... sooo happy!! haha... now juz considering if i should wear it for dnd, coz think it looks too formal le..

ooo... and something quite traumatising happened to me juz now... went kfc wif my family for lunch, den while looking for a seat(i was busy thinking of other matters or rather, stoning) a lady (i think she looks like 30++) suddenly say to me, "y are u staring at me? u jealous that i prettier is it?"

erm... i must admit that though i am not pretty, and ppl who noes me well enough will always hear that i say i am the ugliest in the world, but.. i seriously dun think she is pretty!! and she looks old la.. i will not compare myself to someone that is 30++ or be fair la.. looks 30++!! pls la.. i am still young!! y wud i be jealous of ppl that will have wrinkles soon??

and she didnt stop juz there.. she keep asking me y i stare at her.. and i sooo wanted to say "i never stare at u.." but i juz kept quiet... after that we juz move to another table... gosh... that is sooo freaky lor... am i really that ugly??? okok.. i noe i am the ugliest la.. even uglier den xu chun mei, but... gosh... that is such an insult to me la.. to say that i am jealous of her... she is... freaking crazy!!! argh!!! gosh... i juz got another confirmation from someone that i dunno that i am ugly... haiz... shud juz go kill myself!!

tRyInG nOt 2 tHiNk AnYmOrE.. at 26/02/06 2:05 PM | Comments (2)

25/02/06
argh!!

really a thrashy week for me... all the stuff juz cant stop coming in la... really.. one more time both sides want me to be there, i will juz pass u al the chopper, den u al chop me into half and choose the side u al want la...

anyway, think i am going to fail my stats test le... haiz.. dun care.. i shall work very very hard for it next tome.. after all, its my last paper, though it is on the same day as my social psych..

lets see... i got another new explanation again leh.. haha.. is for the mere exposure effect!! haha.. see ar... the thing abt mere exposure effect is that it is a magical thing.. really!! well... some things, (the purple furry ball dangling earring) may at first look very ugly to ppl.. but after some time, when it keeps staring at u for very long, one will slowly begin to appreciate the beauty of it!! so i am sure one day u will appreciate the beauty of the earring and wear it!!

den i began to realise that this will oso apply to human context... some ppl will look at themselves in the mirror, and say "gosh.. y do i look soo ugly?" den due to the mere exposure effect, they will slowly begin to think "actually.. i look quite cute leh.." tts the reason y ppl think that they are very cute when in fact most of the time, and for some, all of the time, they are acting cute!!

haha... and oso... human relations can oso use the mere exposure effect theory leh.. beginning, when u see someone, u might think "that person is not that good looking la.. nothing special" but after sometime, u will begin to like the person more, and that is why quite a few couple dun start with mutual attraction!! haha....

and of coz.. the same will apply the other way.. u might at first think, "this guy/ girl is soo cute, gorgeous or wadeva.." but after looking at the same person for a while, i will slowly get sick of him/her, and worse still, u will begin to see the disgusting side of him/her... juz like wad i think of someone now!! :p

soo.. in conclusion, do not judge a book by its cover.. and if u have to, think of the mere exposure effect.. do not give the person high points.. :p oso... it explains the saying time will heal all wounds.. :p haha.. k la.. my theory is all wrong one.. i shall type the correct explanation in when i am a bit freeer.. haha..

tRyInG nOt 2 tHiNk AnYmOrE.. at 25/02/06 4:05 AM | Comments (0)

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